“I don’t know how I will go on. We have been together so long and now he is gone.”
These words of an elderly woman at the loss of her husband through death reveal how
devastating it is for us to lose something we do not want to give up. Many experts
believe that the death of a spouse is the most difficult loss one experiences in life. People
endure many of the same types of feelings when they suffer the loss of a spouse through
divorce, the loss of children when they grow up and leave home, when they lose their
jobs, or when they realize that their dreams will never come true.
The emotional response to loss is called grief. Grief is a very difficult emotional response
with which to cope because of the pain and sadness associated with losing someone we
cherish. Two factors helpful in coping with grief are understanding the feelings
experienced by those who grieve, and knowing where we can find help.
The most common feelings shared by those who grieve are shock, denial, anger, guilt and
depression. It is also quite common to experience physical problems such as colds, flu or
sleeplessness when grieving. After a period of time most people are able to accept their
loss and move on with life, even though feelings of sadness remain.
In order to cope with grief it is important for people to know where to find help. Family
and friends can provide a great deal of help if they are willing to be honest, listen to the
person who grieves, and make an effort to understand the feelings of the person who
grieves. Support groups and professional counselors are also available in many areas.
Perhaps the best source of help is the Christian community. The Christian turns to God’s
Word for help in time of need. This is because God understands our situation and offers
help. Jesus said, “‘In the world you have trouble. But have courage; I have conquered the
world'” (Joh 16:33). Jesus overcame the world by living a perfect life, without sin. He
then died on the cross to pay for the sins that we have committed. On account of Jesus’
perfect life and death God forgives sins. This means that Jesus is our Saviour from sin.
Through faith in Jesus as our Savior we are children of God and heirs of the blessings
which God has prepared for us.
The Christian experiences grief like everyone else, but he knows he does not have to be
burdened with guilt because he has forgiveness through Jesus (Psalm 32:1). The
Christian is comforted in knowing that he is never alone because his Savior is always
with him (Mat 28:20). The Christian has hope for the future because he knows that
whatever happens, God will work it all for his good (Rom 8:28). The Christian knows
that one day he will be with his heavenly Father where the troubles of this life will be
forgotten (Rev 21:1-4).
All people experience grief. Try to understand the resulting feelings and seek the needed
help. Do not forget about Christ and His Church. There you can find the best help of all.
(All Scripture references are from the New English Translation)