Genesis 50:15–21
15When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and will pay us back in full for all of the evil that we did to him.”
16They sent the following message to Joseph: “Before he died your father commanded us, 17‘You are to tell Joseph, “Please forgive the offense of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.” ’ Now, please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father.”
Joseph wept when they spoke to him.
18His brothers also came and fell down in front of him, and they said, “See now, we are your servants.”
19Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring this to pass and to keep many people alive, as it is this day. 21Now therefore, do not be afraid. I will nourish you and your little ones.” He comforted them and spoke to them in a kind way. (EHV)
In the trailer for the Clint Eastwood western “Unforgiven,” a teenager, a bit shaken after a bunch of outlaws were killed in a gunfight, takes a swig of moonshine, and says, “Well, I guess they had it coming.” Eastwood’s character responds, “We all have it coming, kid.” Yes, indeed, we do all “have it coming.” And that’s why we count on the Lord’s forgiveness as our only hope to live.
We need others’ forgiveness too. There’s nothing more awful than having someone refuse to forgive you. The only thing worse is espousing hatred and refusing to forgive others ourselves. In fact, God tells us that those who don’t forgive can’t be forgiven—not as long as they harden their hearts. And that is what it is, when someone won’t forgive. Refusing to forgive others means not understanding how God saves us—namely by not giving us what our sins deserve. Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Someone who refuses to forgive can expect to be treated the same way by God—and that is frightening, because if we’re not forgiven by God, we have nothing to look forward to but everlasting punishment for our own unforgiven sins. For that reason, no matter how badly someone may have sinned against us, or how many times—we Christians still have to be prepared to forgive them when they repent. There’s no way around that. The very heart and core of Christianity centers around the concept of forgiveness. Christianity is all about the forgiveness that Christ has given us. And true faith in Christ’s forgiveness enables every true Christian to be forgiving toward others. Our Gospel lesson spelled that out so clearly today (Matthew 18:21–35) and Joseph exemplifies it.
Being Unforgiven Fills Our Hearts with Anxiety
I read an article recently posted by a fellow pastor that suggested at the very least 70% of people in church are bearing the pain of some past hurt. It said: “In a congregation of 100, 20 of your fellow church members are walking around with invisible wounds of sexual violence on their bodies and souls. And that number says nothing about those walking around with other invisible wounds, such as caused by domestic violence, racial prejudice, sexism, bullying and the like. Were we to include these forms of interpersonal violence the number would likely reach 70 [out of 100].” For people wounded like that I’m sure it’s not easy to forgive. No, not easy. The main character in our text, Joseph, definitely falls into the category of someone who’d been bullied and hurt. That’s an understatement! It’s not everyday someone is sold into slavery by his brothers!
On the other hand, one of the keys to understanding this story is realizing that the abusers had owned up to what they had done! They came to realize how terribly they’d hurt their brother, not to mention their own father, the patriarch Jacob, by leading him to believe his son Joseph had been killed by a wild animal! Their consciences plagued them for years! In fact, long after Joseph had forgiven them, they still felt guilty—so much so they doubted their brother’s forgiveness just because they knew how awful their deed was.
So while Joseph would be one of those 70 people out of 100 in our mythical congregation walking around with invisible wounds, so would also each of his 11 brothers! Yet, as we get to this story at the very end of the Book of Genesis, Joseph, the forgiver, is so much better adjusted and able to deal with what happened than are the 11, the ones who needed forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the greatest gift anybody can receive or give. Not being forgiven or feeling UNFORGIVEN is one of the most anxious and awful thoughts that can plague our hearts. After their dad died, Joseph’s brothers were filled with dread and fear. They were terrified because they thought he might make use of his almost unlimited power as the premier of Egypt to exact revenge on them, now that their father no longer stood in the way.
Do you remember the story of Joseph’s early life? His father Jacob sinned too. He did something fathers shouldn’t do. Since Joseph was the firstborn of his favorite wife, Rachel—another “no no”—Jacob spoiled Joseph. Remember the “coat of many colors”? That made the other brothers jealous. In addition, since God Himself had chosen Joseph for great things, He sent Joseph special dreams, which Joseph told his brothers. That made them even more jealous. In those dreams Joseph was always the main character and his brothers always wound up bowing down to him. They grew to hate him. Finally, their sinful jealousy and unchecked hatred drove them to sell their own brother as a slave into Egypt. They would have killed him, in fact, if the caravan of Ishmaelite traders hadn’t come along in the nick of time—God’s timing, of course.
That’s a lot to forgive, wouldn’t you say? Joseph had lost his home, his family and his freedom. He even spent a couple years in a foreign prison on a false accusation by his employer’s wife. Years later, when the brothers were forced to come to Egypt to buy grain during a seven-year famine God sent, they met Joseph but didn’t realize it was him. Joseph tested them on three different visits to see if they’d changed. Finally, during their third trip to Egypt, Joseph spoke Hebrew to them and told them he was their long-gone brother. He wept and hugged them and he told them that all was forgiven. But the brothers were in shock and had trouble believing it. Finally he convinced them to bring their father and settle in Egypt till the famine ended.
Seventeen years went by and then their father—the patriarch who kept the family together—passed away at 147 years old. A lot of time had passed, but the brothers were still haunted by what they had done and by fear that their brother hadn’t really forgiven them. 15When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and will pay us back in full for all of the evil that we did to him.”
16They sent the following message to Joseph: “Before he died your father commanded us, 17‘You are to tell Joseph, “Please forgive the offense of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.” ’ Now, please forgive the offense of the servants of the God of your father.”
Joseph wept when they spoke to him. Why did Joseph weep? Because he realized that his brothers were still living in pain and fear. He realized they still felt Unforgiven. He had told them 17 years ago from his heart that they were forgiven. For 17 years he’d taken care of them and protected them in Egypt. What troubled Joseph so much was that even after all these years, their family hadn’t been able to completely heal and be normal again. Sin causes so much hurt and guilt eats your heart out.
Forgiveness Fills Our Hearts with Peace
But forgiveness heals it all if it’s real! And if it’s real, believe it. Joseph really did forgive his brothers! He’d been able to put the whole mess behind him and clearly see it as a part of God’s eternal plan.
Why? How? What enabled him to be so generous with his forgiveness? It was the fact that he understood how God had treated him and forgiven him. As a mature believer, Joseph could look back on the years of his youth and understand how cocky he’d come across, tattling on his brothers regularly, bragging about his dreams and strutting around like a peacock in his coat of many colors. He was old enough now and himself a father and could now grasp the mistakes his own dad had made in treating him differently than the others. He could understand their jealousy, even if he didn’t condone it. He could see how God had orchestrated everything to make him ruler of Egypt. He had a mature, “God’s-eye” view of it all. There was no way he could hold a grudge. He knew that God had forgiven and forgotten all his own sins. What a wonderful sense of peace that gives—knowing that all the dumb things in our past are forgiven for Jesus’ sake. When you realize how generous God has been to you with His own forgiveness, it’s a whole lot easier to generously forgive those who have sinned against you.
When Joseph looked at how overwhelmingly generous God had been toward him, he couldn’t help but be a big-hearted man toward his brothers. 19Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring this to pass and to keep many people alive, as it is this day. 21Now therefore, do not be afraid. I will nourish you and your little ones.” He comforted them and spoke to them in a kind way.
You’re capable of forgiving too! Assuming you’re a believer! Hasn’t God forgiven you a mountain of sins? Hasn’t God taken care of you just as He took care of both Joseph and his dad and eleven brothers? Hasn’t He taken bad circumstances and used them to shape you into the person you are today? Hasn’t He made it possible for you to look to the future with hope instead of forever reliving and getting mired in the past?
Every single one of us has been hurt by others, some more, some less. And in all honesty, every single one of us has also hurt other people, whether we know it or not. The beauty of forgiveness is that it can erase the past and the hurt. As we heard last week, if it’s unresolved, “Go and show your brother his sin just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother” (Matthew 18:15). But we also heard, “Above all, love each other constantly, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
I’ve met people who can’t forgive, and don’t really want to either. Some of them even dared to call themselves Christians but refusing to forgive is incompatible with Christianity. You heard it from Jesus Himself in the Gospel—the man who’d been forgiven his massive, unpayable debts to the Master, but then refused to forgive his fellow servant. That’s us He’s talking to—we’re the ones forgiven an almost inconceivably huge debt, who then are to forgive others for their sins against us—an infinitely smaller amount, no matter how much we feel we’ve been wronged by someone.
Don’t misunderstand me. It’s not always easy for Christians to forgive. Sometimes in fact it’s extremely difficult and takes time. But we don’t have the right to destroy our own lives or the lives of others by refusing to forgive them. And that’s what unforgiveness does. It destroys your own life and other people’s lives. Jesus came to bring forgiveness to us and to all and restore lives. Let us be His followers, forgiven and forgiving! God Himself will give you the strength to forgive like Joseph, who forgave like Christ and He will restore your own joy and peace as you do. Amen.
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